Bpd discard And finally the BPD will discard their partner. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Posts: 31. 5 months from my third discard of my quiet bpd parter of 5 years. A BPD discard is usually done hastily and out of anger. Uncoupling Journey Hey guys, I know this sounds pathetic but I was discarded by my long distance (yeah) boyfriend. 3 OCT 2024 · BPD Discard Codependent Fantasy Pissing Into The Wind of Cognitive Dissonance BPD discards (final or not when unknown) fuel codependent fantasy and leave people with Codependency essentially pissing "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Another feeling is anger at my myself, and some shame. They may violate personal boundaries, invade privacy, or engage in behaviors that they know would cause distress or discomfort to the other person. If their partner leaves them they will feel intense pain. My life now makes sense. The Discard Stage. I spent a year after the discard searching for an answer. Hi, first post here. As full of personality as people with BPD (pwBPD) can appear, I don't believe they have a fixed personality/identity. If your sure your SO has this disorder, the best you can do is wait it out. Interestingly, though he has shunned me and Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a cluster B personality disorder that impacts how you think, feel, behave, and identify with other people—even yourself. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality This is why your replacement was so effortless and your discard was so cruel. The BPD friendship cycle starts with intense idealization but eventually moves to devaluation once the BPD person’s fear of rejection and low self-esteem come into play. Disregard for boundaries. and security for a Borderline. If a person with BPD feels rejected or abandoned, they may end the relationship. People with narcissistic tendencies tend to see others as objects to meet their needs and will discard them when it is no longer met or the person adds no value. Click here to see what BPD devaluation looks like and how to treat it. It will take some time before she explode and discard the new guy. Splitting means a person is unable to hold opposing thoughts and concludes that someone or something is either entirely good or entirely bad without grey areas. Conversely, narcissists’ primary problems relate to self-importance, a lack of empathy, and an eagerness to feed their egos. The silent treatment is a temporary discard. A normal break up, though hurtful, usually has some logic behind it and is a bit less intense. He just completely withdraws into another activity such as playing video games. It's a pretty small problem you believe that can be fixed. I once had a client tell me they felt their son would “use me for money and then discard me when he a male with BPD may engage in frequent binge drinking of alcohol and have multiple unsafe People with BPD fear abandonment. But secretly they replaced you or are just completely bored. And, do they ever come He also did the silent treatment, but this is different. Do you know the things you should do or the things you should say to someone with borderline personality disorder (BPD)? If not, join the millions of family, friends, and/or coworkers who The BPD person may initiate a breakup or cut the other person off in this phase. There is a link to the original study which has very interesting tables. Having someone adore you, devalue you, and discard you like your relationship and you never existed is a mindfuck you do not want to experience!! Reply And theb one week after the holiday was the final discard, out of the blue. Yes, individuals with BPD can also exhibit traits of covert narcissism. This combination can lead to complex relationship dynamics characterized by attention-seeking, manipulation, and a lack of empathy. BPD with secondary erotomania, So the question is, what does a person who has borderline think and feel about themselves and they other person during the notorious discard stage? How do you get to a point where you BPD is a mental health disorder characterized by intense emotional swings, fear of abandonment, unstable self-image, and impulsive behaviors. com Part of what you describe could be what is a comorbidity of Narcissistic behavior (NPD) in addition to BPD . These symptoms can make interpersonal relationships challenging, but understanding and In this article, we’ll explore BPD devaluation from all angles, with insights for both people with BPD who want to understand and escape the devaluation/idealization cycle and for people on the receiving end of BPD In borderline personality disorder (BPD), devaluation is a coping mechanism to manage fears. Sometimes, for both parties. In the process, What are the Final Discard Tactics of a Covert Narcissist Compared to those of someone with BPD? When it comes to bpd vs covert narcissist differences, the final discard tactics can vary. People with BPD's intense, labile emotions elevate you when they’re in good spirits and crush you when they’re not. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It is definitely what people here are calling a discard, and before he discarded me it was like he had to make sure he went completely scorched earth. Should you choose to reengage after a discard, "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Many of us did not. I work with my bpd ex and for the last couple of months we were seeing each other againnnn (we broke up 8 times) however, she woke up one morning and decided she doesnt want anything to do with me and is considering moving work and moving back to her mums place BPDFamily. Reasoning is not very articulate. Instead of a discard, you're left with eternal torment. This is the last phase of the narcissistic love pattern. Welcome to BPD Server 3. BPD Discard usually isn't a big deal to you. As you become less and less effective as a drug in numbing their pain. borderlines and histrionics. This isn't a discard and devaluation- this is an extreme valuation that once temporarily soothed the developmental deficit and need for value. If you live with BPD/EUPD, or care about someone who has it, you're welcome here. The Final Discard is when you decide that it's time to leave the cycle of abuse. You’re a prince or a princess; a bastard or a bitch. People with BPD have high validation needs - often very high. com > Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) > Romantic Relationship Author: Topic: A Period of Devaluation and the Final Discard (Read 2981 times) confused1730. Do pwBPD's ever feel sad or remorse for what they done? When I did lurk on her social media it bothered me that she still had pictures of us up on her FB and pictures of her going to "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Instead you have to focus on building yourself Topic: What causes the BPD to discard? (Read 5297 times) Trip09. The major issues associated with borderline personality disorder (BPD) stem from unstable emotions and fear of abandonment. It is often the most challenging stage for the other partner, involving intense emotions and potential conflict. zensensa. Narcissistic discard is usually not a peaceful or gentle process. Covert narcissists may silently withdraw and leave without explanation, while individuals with BPD may have emotional outbursts and then cut off contact abruptly. Stay strong. Both BPD and covert narcissism involve distorted self-perception and challenges in forming healthy connections. There was nothing you could’ve done different or better - as the problem lies within Is this a permanent discard or a split episode? (yes this a repost because i still need help determining what it is) I (20m) just got discarded by pwBPD (21f) after almost a year of dating, i did my absolute best to treat her like gold. Most especially though, it is associated with the psychopathic and narcissistic personalities. Wisest Elder Ever : Member Since: Nov 2002. PMS can cause strong BPD behavior to occur for several days each month. My (ex)wife of eight years has bpd, she left me to be with her affair partner three months ago after years of betrayal, verbal and emotional abuse, and constantly making me feel like I am the problem, because there is something fundamentally Hey there. ‍ Managing Relationship Stages with a Partner with BPD Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness characterized by impulsive and self-destructive behavior, erratic mood swings, and difficulty regulating emotions. He spent the week prior actively devaluing me, treating me horribly, incredibly moody. But it can also occur in other relationships with the borderline, and in relationships with non-borderline individuals. Do Borderlines Come Back After Discard? Borderline Personality Disorder individuals may come back after a discard, influenced by factors like breakup circumstances, treatment status, and relationship dynamics. I went no contact and unfriended her on Facebook pretty much after i sent 1 last text that i apologized for my role, and she responded: thanks and she is taking time to think about a lot of things and will respond later. To maintain a friendship long-term, it’s important to communicate, find support, and avoid getting sucked into the BPD drama. People with BPD often engage in “discard” behaviors, in which they abruptly end relationships or withdraw from contact with others without any explanation. Aleyn Dowd, MA MS, on Quara states: In some cases you will decide when the final discard happens. The BPD can't then admit to the shameful act and break up with the non as this would enforce their shame and remove them from the position of the victim. For those unfamiliar with narcissists and their ways, the discard phase might seem like the inevitable end to a failed relationship. These are the my high functioning, very attractive, quiet BPD ex and i had an intensely loving, passionate, emotionally intimate relationship with mindblowing sexual chemistry. Dont worry my friend, i got replaced the following day after our breakup too. 0 We’re a 18+ server that wants to create a welcoming community for people with Borderline Personality Disorder and their loved ones. Mahari Are you a codependent with a BPD Ex? Borderline Ghost to Discard Borderlines and codependent trauma bonds Borderlines and Codependents bpd boyfriend BPD Breakup and that limbo on off cycle what's going on? BPD Discard BPD Discard - Is This It a Final Discard? The symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD) can intersect, making it difficult to determine which disorder is at work in a relationship. If you're wondering what to do when a borderline personality disorder ends a relationship, the first thing you need to do is to stop blaming the illness for the breakup. Avoidance and isolation "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Both NPD an BPD are Cluster B personality disorders with hx of Devaluation and Discarding their SO's. ~ the greatest decline was seen after 44 years old. Tagged on: A. Often a BPD will view it as an attack so you have to approach really delicately and with a lot of spaceeven if you intend to pick an easy starting place and then move closer. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has I saw a pattern in the discard- First 6 months - It was me begging him to take me back. When they discard it is because they feel an emotion and paint you all black. they want to believe they are wanted & needed by many . They don't This is the composite version of the BPD breakup . I was told the classic they think they're I really tried a lot and even read up on BPD and how to be a supportive partner and was re assuring and calm during each previous meltdown or previous push pull just to be blindsided when just a week previous Friend with BPD, and discard: Reply: Thread Tools: Display Modes #1 Jul 27, 2021, 09:57 AM Fuzzybear. Posts: 96,486 I'm sorry about starting another thread I've often heard about ''narcissists'' and how they "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Silent treatment vs silent discard. This is a reddit community to welcome all who have a relationship (platonic, romantic or family) with someone suffering from BPD. However, this is usually When a BPD discards us they seemingly completely emotionally detach as if we never meant anything. With puberty, perimenopause, and postpartum, the temporary BPD flareup may last several years. Reasons for Narcissist Discard . The only issue is they can't see it is their own self sabotaging behavior. ~ 24% had comorbidity with another personality disorder. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone that has quiet bpd. If you have BPD, you probably feel like you’re on a rollercoaster, not just because of your unstable emotions or relationships, but also the wavering sense of who you are. And he kept saying mean shit to me to convince himself he will never be happy Discard or Hoovering. Reasons for return vary, including regret, fear of abandonment, and emotional pain. she often told me that i was the best, most amazing, most wonderful and perfect person she had ever known, that i was the kindest, most caring and supportive person in her life, we were soulmates, that i was a gift I'm desperate for help after a discard with a quiet bpd (Read 1021 times) TryingToBeBetter. Their pattern of relationship is to idealise, devalue and then discard. I agree the approach can be really difficult especially with BPD traits. For me it was like meeting a completely new person "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). . New here. She left me 2 weeks BPD Breakup or Discard Identify Your Codependent Part of The Dynamic To Heal BPD Breakup or discard is so painful and so confusing for so many people who have, but may not realize it, Codependency. 5 months, I found a journal entry where I wrote down that If elt my ex had BPD and why, and then googled if they discard. "Some pwBPD will cling to you like flies on poo poo. "BPD Devalue/Discard Cycle BPD does something that triggers shame (cheats, lies etc), or they just want to leave the relationship. (Thinking of my BPD as a separate, emotionally younger version of myself helps me notice the difference between my BPD thoughts and my own, more reasonable thoughts. I didn’t know about BPD at the time of the hoover and after 11 years there was plenty of water under the bridge, so I was a fool who thought that a relationship with her would be different this time around. He ended our engageement in a text message while I was in another country with my kid. Be kind to others to the best of your ability. Noticing the difference makes it easier to challenge the "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). It wasn’t After 16 months the devaluation and then discard came in less than 24 hours, completely out of nowhere. Your ex was the one responsible for staying in love with you and for dealing with BPD. In this stage, the individual with BPD may withdraw or cut off from the relationship, often as a defense mechanism against perceived abandonment. It's pretty much the hallmark cycle of borderline love. A Period of Devaluation and the Final Discard "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). People with BPD are also very erratic in their validation of others - they can be extremely validating (over validating) and flip over and become very invalidating - sometimes resentful of the validation that is being sought or that they previously expressed. If this is the final discard I can walk away, knowing he won't be contacting me. The first part is my question, the second part is the retelling of the marriage story that made me feel this way. After weeks, months, or even years of being devalued, The idealize-devalue-discard cycle is now very well known in the toxic relationship recovery literature. I'm gonna try to make it quick: My ex gf (28f) (BPD) dumped me(32) and she's in full discard phase: Can't talk to "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of BPD Discard . This is is a nice place, help us keep it that way <3 The Phenomenon of “Discard” Within the framework of relationships that involve those who suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), The word “discard” refers to the frequently abrupt and emotional end of a romantic relationship. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Ex-romantic partner Relationship status: Broken up Posts: 4. I'm about 2. Hi guys, It's been over two months since being dumped and 3 weeks of no NC- not even social media lurking. I stumbled upon an idea today about why borderlines discard and it made a lot of sense. What we offer: Vent channels and a vent vc A Gaming channel and a gaming vc An Economy, including ranks, and roles you can buy with credits you earn daily by participating in the server! Art, media, and meme "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality To discard you was to discard that part of herself. This subreddit is an abuse support forum. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Who in your life has "personality" issues: Romantic partner Relationship status: In the recycling phase Posts: 315. It hurts to be devalued to this point. Offline What is your sexual orientation: Straight Posts: 85. If your SO is NPD, there IS a chance he may come back after a period of time "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). but is a discard ALWAYS kicking the fan down the road? "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). " 1. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder Doing bad from a BPD discard. During devaluation, people with BPD may disregard or disrespect the boundaries set by the person they have devalued. They were the ones who implemented it Do Borderlines Ever come back after discard? My ex shifted me to bad and broke it off via text and said some very harsh things, and painted me as a villain. And while it's still true that hurt people hurt people, let me tell you: night and day difference thanks to a genuine sense of accountability . For example, I learned to manage the silent treatment by my BPD wife by setting a time limit. Why did I do this to myself? Another feeling is almost like relief. At the discard I thought it was normal practise to not be friends after a relationship. I finally snapped back at him and called him out for it, which triggered the breakup. Location: Cave. The devalue and discard you just went through must have been pretty jarring. https: Narcissistic discard refers to a pattern of behavior exhibited by individuals with narcissistic personality disorder when they abruptly end a relationship or discard someone who was once a source of narcissistic supply. Fight discard phase . They will certainly feel your detachment and in many cases they will choose to discard you before you can leave them. In most cases, this phase also involves the person with BPD hoping and waiting for the other party to reach out to them, pursue them, or try to fix Topic: By far the most helpful words I read about BPD discard (Read 8126 times) NotAHero. A person with BPD will seek to attach themselves to others in order to escape feelings of worthlessness, but a BPD Discard again Hi guys this is my fifth post on here. Moreover, it also is common for these flareups to be caused by drug abuse or Finally in the Discard phase, the person with BPD completely pushes away the person they once idealized. After cycling in my head for 2. Signs of an Incoming Narcissistic Discard. Getting into therapy and going no contact is the way to identify your codependent part in the dynamic and to heal. Subsequently, they push/bait the non to react badly. so they say the ex-bf/gf/husband/wife will not leave them alone in an attempt to boost their own self worth, perhaps this is why some here in the group have described their "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). Hello all, and thanks for reading. When the victim no longer serves a purpose or holds value for the narcissist, or when the narcissist has found a new source of attention or validation, they often will discard their victim. I kept trying, and kept trying, and it hurts to have him make a final discard. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline I tried to disengage from my exwBPD during devaluation since I knew discard was unavoidable, and it might have helped to blunt the pain of the discard to some "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). This might mean they disappear for days on end, cheat, start new relationships, break up. The illness may have increased your ex's negative emotions, but it's not something you or your ex can put the blame on. Yes, it still hurts and it bothers me a lot she can just move on so quickly. The whole thing is impulsive. We would like to show you a description here but the site won’t allow us. Is this because they genuinely felt nothing, or are they burying their emotions to protect themselves? "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). J. Seven months post-discard, I started dating an old friend (and former fwb) who has C-PTSD from childhood trauma and even meets a couple BPD criteria. But her cycle will get faster and you'll get treated worse as each cycle passes. Some BPD don't discard, but instead get more intense over time. BPD splitting is a symptom of borderline personality disorder (BPD). The logic behind it is usually trivial or there is none. You can check my posts if you want a more detailed account of it all. What causes a narcissist to discard you? According to a 2017 study, people with narcissistic personality disorder often have trouble maintaining long-term relationships. People with BPD may be sensitive to rejection and abandonment and are prone to splitting, rage, and impulsivity. Trust me, they will only make you feel worse and more hollow. 4 years of aggressive hoovering and counting. The rates of NPD/BPD and ASPD/BPD were higher among women. During the discard phase of the narcissistic love pattern, the narcissist might abruptly end the relationship or pull away emotionally. If they are with someone else and that fails (it irremediable will), and they return then there´s no final discard. Some people with BPD avoid this pain by leaving their partner first, even if their partner isn't thinking about leaving. We aim to help one another build the tools needed to help the person we love get through their journey to treatment, as well as support each other with understanding of BPD and what it can cause. When a person with BPD leaves their partner because of their fear of abandonment they cause the same pain to their partner that they "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline and drugs to distract you from the pain of the discard. They tend to use people to prop up their sense of self, often due to a deficiency of parental affection in childhood. In my situation, my H never leaves. The Drama. What causes the BPD to discard? « on: December 22, 2015, 10:49:09 PM Smokers were also more likely to have BPD. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Borderline Personality of course it was real. "r/ BPD Loved Ones" is a support forum and safe space for people to discuss the challenges and abuse they have endured at the hands of someone who has Ralfi3 . addrh jeo ulcbf ihe zzrxx imprfj klhz abpc rekeo qxh